DANCING HENRY CORPORATION
ELECTRONIC MEMORANDUM
4th of October of 2010

RE: Carbon neutral policy

Many concerned readers have written to inquire whether the Dancing Henry Almanac is carbon-neutral. We are delighted to reassure you all that not only are we not carbon-neutral in the slightest, but we have gone one better and are opposed to carbon in all forms.

The Dancing Henry organisation has always been a trendsetter (one of the first, in fact), and our anti-carbon policy was put in place long before the rise of the so-called ‘green’ movement. In 1953, a scientific study commissioned by Dancing Henry founder Sir Henry Drummond to investigate the physical make-up of members of the most reviled groups on Earth (including Nazis, Gay Catholics, and Vegetarians Who Eat Fish) found that a significant portion of their body mass was carbon-based. Shortly after, Sir Henry instituted a policy forbidding the drinking of carbonated drinks, the breathing of carbon dioxide, and the making of carbon copies in the Dancing Henry offices. A hastily scrawled memo also led to an accidental prohibition on car bonnets in the Dancing Henry car park which remains in place even today.

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